There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
