She announced her abortion via fbk
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Randomize
