Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
