Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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