He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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