Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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