They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize