As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
