Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
