Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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