my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize