Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
