who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
