You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize