I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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