possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
