It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
