All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
