Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
