She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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