I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
