New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
