Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
