It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize