The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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