you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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