I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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