don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize