I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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