We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
