you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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