dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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