So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
God, I missed his penis.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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