Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
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He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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