Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
