fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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