this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
