So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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