I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize