she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
