i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
ugly people sure do ruin things
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
