Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
