Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
