My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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