Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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