last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
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throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
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i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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