You smell like stripper and shame
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
