How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
