shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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