I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
