His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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