I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
