Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
