Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
