Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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