you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
