I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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