you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
