So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
